seventeen seconds
by AzzyDarling
Summary: written for kink meme - ME3 Spoilers, smut before last battle.


Wrote this story for a kink meme at masseffectkink which said;

_Lets see a one last time before we die fic. Takes place before Shepard meets with Anderson in the forward operating base, where Shepard tugs kaidan aside into one of the empty buildings where they have passionate and emotional, but quick goodbye sex while still in half their armor and or dirty/bruised from the first wave of battle._

I never did a kink meme request before, and I sure as shit hope that the recipient liked it, because point one, I am not sure I did it right! And I am not sure it's what the OP wanted. Oh well, I spent a long time doing this because I suck at flashfics. But I just wanted to do this so badly! Also I don't really need to warn and shit 'cause you can sorta see the request.. hahaha

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><p>"Well, I should find the rest of my squad." Kaidan said, looking anywhere than on Shepard.<p>

"Yeah." Shepard said, took two steps and stopped, looking back at Kaidan who still looked in the opposite direction. He took a deep breath, he was torn between wanting something for himself, and his duties to everyone else. Was it really that bad to take what he needed? He took a quick decision and grabbed Kaidan's arm, pulling a very surprised Major out behind the nearest building, away from prying eyes.

"John.. What.." Kaidan asked, letting Shepard push him gently up against the brick wall.

Shepard looked at Kaidan, "I can't leave like that." He said softly. "What if.. I mean.."

Kaidan's smile faltered, and he nodded. "Yeah, well we both know that it's a very real possibility that.." His words were cut short as Shepard leaned in and kissed him, rough and desperate. They both knew that now was not the time, but that just made it all the more urgent and important. Maybe they didn't know what they were walking into, didn't know if they'd return from it. But they knew what they had right here, they knew they both felt it. Words seemed so hollow, because there was no words that would carry hope and fear at the same time.

Shepard let Kaidan reverse them, so he had his back against the wall. Years of practice with their own uniforms now paid off, as they both fumbled blindly after clasps and straps, just enough so they could touch skin.

Pulling from the kiss, Kaidan slowed down a little, shrugging out of the breast plate, watching Shepard as he undid the last strap on his, so he could pull Kaidan close, feeling his body heat and heartbeat against him. "I'm scared." Kaidan admitted while opening John's belt buckle. "If.."

Shepard hushed him, kissing Kaidan again. "Shhh. I want to remember you like this, the way you feel, the way you taste, your scent." He smiled as he could see what he believed to be tears in Kaidan's eyes. "That you were mine." He added with a soft whisper.

"Yours." Kaidan whispered, wanting to say more, but it died on his lips as he felt John's hand push down below the waistband of his pants, leaning in for kiss, he battled his own belt buckle, fumbling with hands slightly trembling from anticipation and excitement. A bleak voice in the back of his mind whispered that this was only making it worse, that he should have denied them both this pointless heartbreak.

Warm breath on his neck, heated lips on his jawbone. "Don't let this be the last time." Shepard sighed, closing his eyes, just feeling. Kaidan's hands on his skin, the hot breathing in his ear, the scent of soap, fear, arousal and Kaidan. It almost made him forget why they were here, almost made him forget that he had promised to map all of this down in his head, just so he could torture himself by replaying it over and over, should he need it. Should the worst come to pass. Shepard pressed closer in against Kaidan, pinning him down against the wall with his body. The smallest of moans passed between them as their erections was pressed against each other.

"When this is all over." Kaidan muttered, his breath stuttered as Shepard stroked their erections with a firm hand.

"MMhhmm." Shepard hummed, biting Kaidan's neck playfully, "Then what?.." He gasped short of breath as Kaidan's hand joined his between them. "Tell me."

"Then we are going to stay in for a week." Kaidan whispered hoarsely, thrusting shallowly against Shepard, "Just making love."

"Sounds good." Shepard answered with a deep breathy moan. And for a long minute all that passed between them was panting, and the soft rustle of fabric. Until Shepard found his voice, "Kaidan, I.."

Kaidan pressed his lips against Shepard to shut him up, "I know." He mumbled against the soft lips. He stared straight into the ocean blue eyes of John's, somehow they spoke all the things that he didn't say.

Closing his eyes, Shepard deepened the kiss, his entire body trembling from near orgasm, and in the end Shepard had to give in, moaning his climax into Kaidan's mouth, not registering that his lover followed his example.

Shepard rested his head head on Kaidan's shoulder, who was slumped against the wall. They both tried to catch their breath, Kaidan chuckled softly. "You'd think we were seventeen."

Grinning Shepard held out his hand and wiped it in the brick wall. "You mean we aren't?" He said amused.

Kaidan just shook his head and pulled his pants back up, "Hey Shepard." He said trying to sound casual, but whatever he had intended to say never made it, as Shepard leaned in for another kiss.

"I have to go." Shepard whispered against Kaidan's lips, "Before Anderson sends out a damn search party."

Kaidan arched an amused brow, "You better remember to pull your pants back up first."

Shepard laughed, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Kaidan, be safe, you hear?" He said buckling his pants again.

"You too John." Kaidan said, he had wanted to say something funny like 'the sex better be worth these brick burns' but he didn't, he just smiled sadly at Shepard as they both adjusted their armor, eventually emerging from the behind the house again.


End file.
